双语：盘点最难搞定的八种极品室友

Toyger

http://www.sina.com.cn  2011年11月16日 17:25   沪江英语
                     八大最难搞的室友
　　青年旅馆本来是交友和分享经历的好地方，可是你的好旅行绝对会被下面这八种人给毁了的！小编表示不只是在青年旅馆，住宿舍的孩子有没有遇到这些个难搞的室友，请对号入座吧：
　　Hostels are great places to cultivate friendships and share your experiences abroad. It's just a shame you can't always choose your neighbors. Meet the 8 people you never want to find sleeping above or below your bed.
　　青年旅馆是个培养友谊和分享经历的好地方，只有一点很遗憾，你没法选择你的邻居或室友。为你介绍八种最难搞的旅馆室友，相信我，你绝对不会想要跟他们同处一室甚至住上下床铺的：
　　1.The one-man eating band
　　一个吃货的协奏曲
　　If it doesn't crunch or crinkle, he won't eat it.
　　不能发出嘎吱作响或者沙沙声儿的食物他是不会吃的。
　　How to identify: He dines on only the most pungent, debris-yielding, noisily packaged foodstuffs ... at all times. His bunk is no more a sleeping quarters than an ogre's lair of gnashed pork byproducts and discarded nut husks.
　　识别雷达：他从来只吃那种味道最辛辣、会产生碎屑和噪音的包装食品。他的床铺已经不是睡觉的地方的了，简直就是食人魔的老窝：满是咬过的猪肉副产品和四处乱丢的果壳。
　　Reason to hate: Once the crumbs fall from his beard and bounce off his shirt, they inevitably land on the floor, inviting exotic foreign insects to crawl under your skin at night.
　　为嘛招人嫌：那些面包屑从他的胡子上掉下来或者从衣服上弹下来，就肯定会落到地板上，招来各种奇异的昆虫在半夜爬过你的皮肤。(鸡皮疙瘩都起来了)
　　2.The top-bunk bladder
　　住在上铺永远尿急的人
　　At least he waits till he gets down to do it.
　　你已经很幸运啦，至少他没在上铺直接解决吧！
　　How to identify: Up and down that bunk ladder like he’s on night duty, this leaky faucet can't remain still for more than 90 seconds before having to clamber back down from his bunk in the noisiest fashion possible for a 29th trip to the bathroom.
　　识别雷达：不停上上下下，这种人就跟在值夜班一样，坚持不到90秒，又从上铺爬下来第29次上厕所，而且爬下来的声音真的太吵了。
　　Reason to hate: Right when you’re dozing off, he uses your bed as a step, crushing your left arm.
　　为嘛招人嫌：你在打盹的时候，他拿你的床当台阶下，正好踩到你的左胳膊。
　　3.The personal hygienist
　　私人修剪师
　　"Clip, clip, clip." The most subtle horror movie soundtrack ever conceived.
　　“剪，剪，剪”，完全是你能想到的最细微的恐怖电影配音。
　　How to identify: He's got an inexhaustible supply of uncut toe- and fingernails, and the world is his day spa.
　　识别雷达：他的手脚指甲似乎在没日没夜不知疲倦的长着，全世界都是他的美容中心。
　　Reason to hate: You'd rather be caught in the teeth of a Sarlacc pit than roll onto one of his sharp discarded nails, but you do, anyway. And it’s even grosser than you thought.
　　为嘛招人嫌：被怪兽萨拉克吃了也比翻身的时候发现床上有他丢掉的尖指甲好，绝对比你想得还要恶心。
　　4. Carmen Sandiego
　　怪盗卡门(小编注：同名角色扮演冒险侦探游戏)
　　"So weird, I was on a yacht in Capri then my old roommate from Belgium brought me the book I left in my Cape Town hotel."
　　“太奇怪了，当时我正在意大利卡普里岛的游艇上，然后以前在比利时住一起的室友就把我落在开普敦酒店的书带给我了！”
　　How to identify: She will identify you. As someone who cares.
　　识别雷达：她会认出你的，只要她对你感兴趣。
　　She has been to every corner of the earth and will casually mention to you and everyone within earshot how well traveled she is. She will undoubtedly brag about Nepal or Myanmar, as Carmen Sandiegos think these Buddhist destinations make them more enlightened than you.
　　她足迹踏遍地球上每个角落，会很随意地向你和所有听得到的人提及她的超精彩的旅行。她绝对会吹嘘去过尼泊尔和缅甸，因为怪盗卡门们觉得这些佛教圣地让他们看起来比你更聪慧。
　　Reasons to hate: Despite saving every penny you’ve ever earned, you’ve never been or never will be in any of the places she mentions because your mother does not work for Cathay Pacific.
　　为嘛招人嫌：不管你怎么省吃俭用，你也没去过她提到的这些地方，将来也去不成，谁让你妈妈不在国泰航空上班呢。

Toyger

　　5. The Stage 5 clinger
　　粘人虫
　　Drinking games? How about hide-and-go-seek?
　　划酒拳？要不我们捉迷藏吧！
　　How to identify: The clinger will find any reason, any reason at all, to break the ice and never let it melt. “Is that a Timex watch? I had one in college, when I was studying international business. Now I’m a trader, what do you do?”
　　识别雷达：这种人会找到任何理由打破沉默，不过她(他)们也有本事让你永远没法喜欢：“你带的是天美时手表吧？我大学的时候也有一块。我大学读的是国际贸易。我现在是个商人，你是做什么工作的？”
　　Reason to hate: You can’t escape the clinger. Once they've got you talking, they will never leave your side. They will assume all activities, cooking, sightseeing, laundering, will be done together.
　　为嘛招人嫌：这种人你逃不开呀，一旦他们开始跟你说话，他们就绝不会把你晾到一边的，他们会设想所有的事：做饭，观赏风景，洗衣服，都要和你一起做，你跑不掉的。
　　Stage five clinger: 美国俚语，指很容易被别人吸引的人，情感比较脆弱很需要关注，出自电影《婚礼傲客》(Wedding Crashers)。
　　6. The musician
　　音乐家
　　Don't worry, YouTube will eliminate the guitar guy in a matter of years.
　　别担心，有了视频网站，近些年弹吉他的家伙可能要被淘汰了。
　　How to identify: Will have an instrument at all times. It will probably be a guitar or, God help us all, a bamboo flute. You will find him in the common room, your room, dining room and bathroom.
　　识别雷达：走到哪儿都随身带着乐器，可能是吉他或是竹笛(上帝帮帮我们吧！)。哪儿都有他：公共休息室，你的房间，餐厅，浴室，简直无孔不入。
　　Reason to hate: The cringe-inducing, emotional close-eyed singing face. Nothing is more uncomfortable than when a total stranger’s underlying emotion surfaces through song.
　　为嘛招人嫌：讨厌那张猥琐的自我陶醉的脸和情到深处闭着眼睛唱歌的样子。没有比听着一个陌生人唱歌表达他内心深处隐藏的感情更让人觉得不舒服的事儿了。
　　7. The couple
　　情侣
　　"I love you, but don't you ever EVER lend some tramp our toothpaste again."
　　“我爱你，不过你可别在把我们的牙膏借给那些流浪汉了！”(画外音：你才是流浪汉呢！)
　　How to identify: They eat together, sleep together and launder together, but don’t socialize with anyone else to prevent any jealous fights while traveling.
　　识别雷达：他们一起吃饭，一起睡觉，一起洗衣服，不跟其他任何人交往，似乎是要杜绝旅途中的任何吃醋战。
　　Reason to hate: They skip social gatherings to stay in their bunk watching YouTube videos of cats.
　　为嘛招人嫌：他们不参加任何联谊会，就窝在他们的床铺上一起看猫咪的视频。
　　8. The switchboard
　　电话总机小姐
　　"It was horrible, Mom, everything in the cafeteria was deep-fried."
　　“妈妈太恐怖了，餐厅里所有的吃的都是油炸的。”
　　How to identify: With no regard whatsoever for anyone else in the room, the switchboard will yap and dramatically coo to loved ones over the phone, describing everything from her breakfast to her bowel movements.
　　识别雷达：他们不在乎房间里其他任何人的感受，一直哇啦哇啦不停在电话里向家人或者男朋友抱怨，从早餐说到上厕所，事无巨细。
　　Reason to hate: She keeps you up all night. The bags under your eyes make you look like a drug dealer resulting in a full-cavity search at the airport the next day.
　　为啥招人嫌：她吵得你一整晚睡不着，早上你的眼袋会让你看起来像个毒贩一样，到时候到了机场，少不了要被全身检查。